Why and How To Make Him Love Me
by ellikanellika
Summary: Rachel made a list. A list that she created in order to make him notice her. But there's a problem... T for language
1. The List

Why and How To Make Him Love Me

* * *

THE LIST

**Part one: Why?**

_**His eyes…**__ His gorgeous crystal green eyes that shine whenever I see him. When he sings, there is always a spark in his eyes and if my heart would not have been chained to the inside of my chest, it might have jump out and scream then and there. His eyes are diamonds!_

_**His smell… **__I can sniff him from afar. It's not that strong and sweet smell of some strange sport deodorants; no, it is a soft and gentle smell, not too strong; it reminds me of fresh air, and I always get the feeling of a soft breeze brushing my skin._

_**His body… **__Of course his body is that of a Greek god. I have seen him a plenty of times with and without a shirt. And the last one… God, those muscles and that skin… I would love to caress his chest with my fingers and then put my palm on his arms, which are so full and so perfect… I need to stop here._

_**His self-confidence… **__Sometimes annoying because he knows exactly what he is able to do to girls, while just smirking at them. And although I always oppose everything he says, I really really really love his confidence. He knows what he has to do to get what he wants. Unlike me. _

_**His voice…**__ That deep voice that makes my body shaking in despair. I know… I'll just say it – I get horny while listening to his singing or talking and although I hide it quite perfectly, I sometimes have a feeling he knows. Not that he notices me, but every girl in this school gets goose bumps, so why would I be any exception. And I'm not… What could that voice do to me in some others situations…_

_**His cool attitude…**__ That smirk! His posture! His hands in his pockets, while gazing around! I could eat him up!_

_**His character…**__ Most of the time he's annoying as hell! He makes fun of me; he calls me names; and he laughs at me whenever he has the opportunity! But when it comes to it, he can be so damn understanding and nice and gentle and good-hearted and lovable and shitmyheartisbeatingfastagain!_

_**His smile…**__ His smile… His smile… His smile… I just… love him…_

**Part two: How?**

_**Talk to him…**__ If he listens… I think he won't… No one does actually…_

_**Smile at him…**__ If I get the opportunity. I'm usually angry at him, so…_

_**Touch his arms here and there…**__ No comment…_

_**Invite him over…**__ I need to work on my courage towards him…_

_**Sing a duet with him…**__ Done…_

_**Throw yourself at him…**__ Never ever!_

_**Kiss him…**__ I already did. Nothing changed._

_**Give in to him…**__ And become one of those? But I wouldn't mind here and there…_

_**Tell him how you feel…**__ Pfffhahahahahaha! Yeah… No._

_

* * *

_

That is what Rachel Berry has written on her list Why And How To Make Him Love Me. The reason she wrote that list is that she always needs a plan to make something happen. Always!

And while other girls just go with the flow, she has to know about each step she has to make. Because this boy was a tough one. He had a diversion of girls to pick, but he did not trust them, which is why she had to be careful. She had to make sure everything will go smoothly.

Because she liked him for real.

And she liked him badly.

And Noah Puckerman was worth it.

The list was a perfect and excellent plan, which could actually make her succeed. However, Rachel Berry was not happy that she ever wrote the list.

Not at all.

She could throw herself in front of a car for making it. Or worse – cry right here and right now! She knew he was popular, and she knew he was constantly surrounded by girls, pretty girls and beautiful girls. Watching him being trapped was a daily routine.

And today was not different.

Except that today she kind of wished to gather her courage and finally start with the plan, but seeing him laugh and talk with those girls, made her knees week and her heart too heavy to make a move.

Which was also nothing new because each and every day she tried to make herself do something because he apparently will not notice her.

If he does not notice her, why should she so something out of character. That is so not her!

But hey, she is young and in puberty. She wants to have fun and she wants to have fun with Noah Puckerman!

But it is not worth it. She will never succeed. Not with all those girls around him.

And coming to this conclusion, Rachel Berry noticed with horror that her perfect list, which was in her hands a couple of seconds ago – disappeared.


	2. Trembling

Why and How to Make Him Love Me

* * *

**Trembling**

You know that feeling when your heart starts to beat so fast that the pounding rings through your ears; and when your hands become sweaty and hot, but the rest of your body his shivering in cold? The feeling when your head starts to scream to finally fucking move, but your feet are frozen to the ground?

You know that feeling?

Of course you do.

So does Rachel.

And the only name that came up to her mind for this particularly strong feeling that made its way through her body and brain is…

Well…

!

''Oh no… Oh no no no no no no no…'' the brown haired girl mumbling to herself when she finally came to her senses. She frantically looked around in search for the piece of paper that she held in her hand few seconds ago.

The crowd of people was huge and students walked through the halls squeezing themselves past other students and Rachel could only stand on the spot.

It was not like she was staring at the boy surrounded by girls for too long, holding her paper in her hand far too lightly and not thinking that it might fly away and disappear after someone would accidental bump into her.

Not at all.

She just might have gazed at him a second too long.

It was not her fault!

''I'm so dead…'' she told herself and started to breathe faster. She stepped to the side, to her locker and wildly rummaged through her bag. It must have been here! She just imagined that she held the paper in her hands!

Yeah right…

Of course she did not find it.

She opened her locker and rage-fully moved her things to the side or threw them out – but the paper was not there.

Well…

She had no other choice but to admit it – she is the most stupid klutz she has ever seen. Holding the paper. Losing the paper.

Her eyes teared up in her dramatic despair and she full-punched the locket-door shot. Which was apparently a bit louder than she thought and therefore attracted the attention of the few people that were still in the hall. And of course it attracted the attention of those she was watching before.

The girls turned their heads towards her in confusion, as well as did Puck. He blinked at her, looked her up and down and smirked.

That-

That stupid arrogant conceited jerk wannabe star!

Rachel growled by herself, then cleared her throat and rummaged through her bag again, just to make sure to become invisible again.

Which worked of course – the attention was soon off of her; and noticing that, Rachel stopped in her movement and sighed. She gently put her hand over her face and whined to herself, while slowly walking in some direction.

Sulking she did not notice the pair of eyes following her. He did not actually hear anything those girlies told him; his attention was far from where people thought it was.

And right now, after Rachel finally disappeared, his eyes caught the sight of something else.

Something that was lying on the floor.

Something that looked like a paper, having Rachel's handwriting on it.


	3. Don't Panic

Why and How To Make Him Love Me

* * *

**Panic**

''What did I write on it? Oh my god… Did I sign the paper? Did I write his name on it? Oh god oh god oh god…''

You know that song from Jason Mraz – Live High? No? It's a very light and relaxing song; it's cool actually.

But this song was the last thing Rachel had in mind – she actually did not even know it. But it might have helped her to calm down if she listened to it.

Yeah.

Anyway.

The song that Rachel currently had in mind was from My Chemical Romance – I'm not Ok. It was loud and it screamed her head off. And if it were not just in her mind, it would have blasted her ears away.

Which is exactly what made her unconcentrated during the whole day. And an unconcentrated Rachel Berry was something the world has not seen till now.

Not hearing the teacher ask her a question was one thing – not that strange but- ok, it was odd. Ok? We are talking about Berry here. She is always, like, answering before the question was asked. So…

The other thing that was a bit out of the ordinary was her mouth – her closed mouth. Not that she was silent or something – she did talk; her opinion was necessary whatever the subject was – but her being silent during the English class? Not normal.

And then was the most obvious one; it made even Quinn and Santana look at her in pity. Rachel walked through the hall during lunch, looking as fabulous as always, when she suddenly crashed into an open locker.

She literally crashed into an open locker, which was in front of her and unless her mind was completely somewhere else, she could not have overlooked it. But she did.

Like, walking straight ahead, not caring what was going on around and then (although the locker was already open – so she could see it), she just went on as if she could walk through it – and banged right into it.

Falling back, confused at what actually happened, she shook her head and put her hand on her front-head, trying to ease the pain. The person who opened the locker jumped to her right away and helped her up; he tried to hide his amusement because it would really be rude to just burst out in laughter – but it did not really matter because Rachel was still not quite there…

People around them looked at her in surprise, some smiled while shaking their heads and some watched her with concern in their eyes; but Rachel saw nothing.

She just apologized to the person in front of her and walked away as fast as possible. When she walked out of the school, she sighed in desperation and looked into the sky.

''I'm screwed.'' She told herself and sighed again.

* * *

Rachel did not usually panic – she made quite a lot of detailed plans in order for her future to go the way she liked. That it usually blew up in her face was discreetly ignored by her overworked brain the whole time; however, this was the moment in which Rachel was quite aware of her situation.

She was in deep shit – as Puck would express himself.

''Ok ok. Calm down. Breathing, breathing.'' She talked to herself, while standing in the middle of her room with her eyes closed and listening to music. The view was actually quite odd. Usually, Rachel would have already been in bed reading or sleeping; however, now she was standing there in her pyjama with her huge DJ-earphones over her ears, listening to some slow guitar solos in order to bring her brain to stop producing strange pictures of her and a certain boy in some embarrassing moments.

Yeah, guitar solos. They're cool. They calm down a person. And Noah likes them.

Anyway.

One might think she has wet thoughts like every normal teenager, but the situation brought her to momentarily forget about her everyday thoughts and see what she was afraid of the most. She was terrified of how might people react towards her 'practically direct' confession to someone who now was her friend but has been her worst nightmare for a long time.

Her mind attacked her with the images of him attacking her with slushies, laughing at her face with the whole school standing behind. She literally could feel the stares and the cold liquid dripping down her head as it had been long time ago.

She actually did not believe that this might happen; she knew the boy now and she knew how and what he was usually thinking – but there was this self-defence system that she developed during her being-the-school's-bully's-target and she was not only afraid but also shook with horror when thinking about that her new found and new targeted love might not only break her heart but also her soul and her – as in her character.

Not only did her hands tremble with anticipation of what might happen on Monday, but it was also her body that was shaking in fear.

''I'm going to forget everything.'' She told herself trying to be calm.

''I'm going to forget everything and play as if nothing happened. If someone found the list and asks me on Monday if it belongs to me, I will just say that I have never seen it. I'm an excellent actress. I'm going to survive. And anyway, Noah would never see me more than a friend.''

And oh how wrong she was.

About everything.

* * *

Rachel standing in the middle of her own room and drowning herself in pity was how her whole weekend came and went. On Monday she was a whole new person. Calm. Determined. And focused on only one thing. Hide as much as she could.

It was actually pretty easy.

''Why didn't I do that when I was bullied?'' she asked herself while walking with the crowd.

Yesss.

She was walking with the crowd. Actually, she was thronging in the school's hallway like any other normal student. And the advantage was that she was completely invisible. People were all around her and no one seemed to see her.

Sometimes trying to attract less attention is better for your own good she realized.

She arrived at her locker safely and a content smile grew on her face. She opened her locker and took out some note books. She hummed to herself while thinking about what class she had and while creating new strategies of avoiding people if it happens that her momentary plan goes to hell.

''This is just too easy.'' She sang as silently as she could, closed her locker and almost had a heart attack when she saw Noah standing next to her.

'Noah!'' she loudly breathed out and hit with her back the locker as if trying to not lose her balance.

''Yo, Berry.'' He smirked at her and looked her up and down.

Rachel wished she could die.

''Are you trying to kill me?'' she told him playing the annoyed girl she usually was and looked at him like a mother.

God, he was gorgeous.

He laughed, crossed his arms and leaned with his left shoulder on one of the lockers next to hers.

Jesus, she could eat him.

''Nah, wouldn't like your heart to go to waste.'' He told her and smiled at her blushing cheeks. With one hand he reached towards her hair and playfully tugged at one of her curls. Rachel shivered at his touch and thought her knees might give in.

''Hey, um- Do you have some notes for the English test next week? I kind of was too lazy to do them myself.'' He told her cheekily and laughed when she looked at him in surprise, then in anger and lastly hit him with one of her note books.

''You- you slave driver! Make your own notes!'' she told him while already looking through the pile of note books she had in her arms. Puck smiled at her; she was just too nice.

''Here. In are all grammatical rules we have learned in this semester. It's written with a lot of examples, so I don't think there would be a problem.'' Explained while giving him the note book. Puck nodded stepped back, looking through her notes. A frown appeared on his face and Rachel laughed when she noticed it.

''Hey, don't worry. It's pretty easy when get through the examples. I know that you won't have any problem learning the stuff. But you can always ask me.'' She smiled at him, trying to assure him that he is capable to study.

When Puck looked at her again and wanted to say something, the bell rang and made Rachel jump in surprise.

''Oh, I must be going. I want to ask the teacher about my test results from last month. So, I'll be running.'' She smiled, waived her hand and literally flew away and disappeared in the crowd.

Puck could only watch her vanishing and once again he leaned on the locker. His serious expression remained. He leafed through the note book and stopped at a page which was full of Rachel's writing. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it, placing it gently over the page.

The writing was exactly the same.

He sighed in desperation.

Who was she writing about?


	4. Like Fresh Air

Why and How To Make Him Love Me

* * *

**Like Fresh Air**

Rachel hurriedly walked through the school's hallway with a pile of paper in her arms. She could hardly see anything over it but she managed to not run into anybody. The teacher asked her to make some copies for the class and she went and made them, knowing that she was just used but glad that she was able to help. However, she could have not known that the pile would be so big.

It was not hard to walk through the hall; people avoided her in order to not get hit, but Rachel would still be glad if somebody offered her help. Well, she would be glad if the particular someone was not Noah. She successfully avoided him for two days in a row and she already was certain that the list she made has most probably been destroyed by hundreds of students walking over it.

She was finally calm and happy, but the feeling soon went flying out of the window.

''Hey, need some help?'' Puck asked her when he noticed her petit figure struggling to survive under the weight of paper. Rachel cried out in surprise, jumped and almost lost her balance. Puck caught her in the last moment holding her shoulders and steadied her. Rachel held the pile with all her might and was pressing her eyes together in shock.

When she calmed down, she blinked and saw Noah looking at her in concern. His face very close.

''Noah!'' she called and took a step away. ''Are you trying to give me a heart attack?''

Puck's lips slowly became a boyish smirk and watched her with amusement. ''Nah… Just checking your responding abilities.'' He laughed when she kicked him but finally stepped away from her to give her some space. He looked her up and down and Rachel tried not to start shaking or giving away any symptoms that she was trying not to jump him and kiss the hell out of him.

''You know… For a midget you carry a lot of papers.'' He said to her looking at the huge pile.

''I am not a midget for you information – look it up on Google! And I was told to bring these copies for the teacher, so don't mock me.'' She told him annoyed, but was surprised when he suddenly took a half from her hands and grinned at her.

''Err… You didn't have to-''

''Yeah yeah I know. But we don't want you to collide into a wall.'' He smirked and started walking. Rachel looked after him for a few moments, too stunned to move or say anything. Her heart run a mile and her cheeks were blushing and she felt so strange that she thought she might be finally able to fly.

When he slightly turned his head back, she finally woke up from her daydreaming and rushed towards him. She noticed that he slowed down so that she could catch up with him – and when she finally did they walked next to each other with papers in their arms.

''Thank you.'' She told him and smiled at him. If she knew what the smile did to him, she would have used it more.

''No problem. Which teacher is such an ass to tell you to do the work.'' He asked her by the way and Rachel just huffed at him. ''Who else than Mr Shuester. I mean I know I'm loud and that I like to point out everything I know but this doesn't mean that I have anything against him. But it seems he thinks that way and tells me whenever he has the chance to make or bring something for him from the photocopy room – usually such piles.'' She looked down on – err – up the papers. Puck watched her in amusement and tried not to laugh at her theatrical behaviour. She was so adorable.

''Someday I will just take revenge on him by hitting the wrong note in Glee and then he will have no other choice but to start respect me if he ever wanted me to co-operate. We all know that it's me who does the whole organisation in Glee.''

While Rachel huffed and puffed in slight anger, Puck still watched her from the side and admired her moving lips. Then she turned her head towards him and looked at him in amusement.

''You do know that we have Spanish together, like, in a few minutes?'' she asked him and watched him rolling his eyes.

''Of course I don't. Ts. If I hadn't crashed into you, I would be sleeping in the nurse's office.'' He explained and smirked when he saw her laughing. The warm feeling he usually felt in her presence gained control of his body again and he could not turn his eyes from her. Her laugh was so beautiful and her smiling face was so pretty and Puck's hands itched to put his palm over her cheek and caress her.

Suddenly their lovely moment was interrupted.

''Yo! Puck!'' called a girly voice from somewhere in the hall and both teens turned their heads in the direction of the voice. Puck raised his brow and smirked at the group of giggling cheerio girls standing in front of their lockers and checking him out. He did not notice that Rachel slowed down and was a step behind him now.

The blondes, brunettes and black-haired girls with ponytails and red skirts chatted among themselves and looked around to see as much as possible.

Puck was currently the centre of their attention and if Rachel ever doubted that he was the most wanted boy in the whole school, she was proven wrong now. It was not like the girls were throwing themselves at him or even talk dirty to get him; no, their eyes just revealed their wishes and lust their body felt by watching him.

''If you have time today or any day…'' one of the brunettes with a perfect figure blinked at him and smiled like a professional seducer and signalled him to call her. Puck shrugged his shoulders and turned around to Rachel when he noticed she was standing behind him – but she was looking away and Puck could not see it, but she was chewing her lip quite nervously.

Finally she sighed in defeat and looked at him with a shy and a weak smile: ''Shall we?'' she asked and put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. For a moment she closed her eyes and left herself enjoy his touch.

''You know…'' she told him and sniffed, ''You smell like fresh air.'' Then she opened her eyes, walked past him and all he could do was watch her from behind. His mind suddenly worked so fast and so hard that he thought it might explode.

Sure, many people might use the phrase you smell like fresh air, but it was just Rachel who would actually say it – or write it. She was the poetic one. And the big-words-girl one. She would actually use it.

He watched her walk forward, her hips swinging and her hair flying behind. She seemed so small.

''Have a nice day Puck!'' called one of the girls again, but Puck did not turn his head this time. He saw Rachel stop in her movements and turning around towards him. Then she looked at the giggling girls and frowned for a second. Her shoulders slumped and her expression turned sad. She sighed and pressed her lips together. Her face became blank and she blinked a couple of times.

She looked at Puck again and surprised that he was watching her, her eyes widened and she blinked furiously, her face blushing.

''Hey… You coming?'' she asked trying to play as calm as possible.

Puck's eyes travelled around her face and with each second they became bigger. His lips, first open in surprise, now draw out a knowing smile that quickly became a big fat self-cantered smirk. He calmly walked towards her, his hands in his front jeans pockets and watched her getting nervous with each of his steps.

He put the pile of papers under his right arm and cockily threw his left arm around Rachel, making her squeak, and pulled her with him: ''Come on. Spanish is about to start.''

* * *

Rachel felt uneasy.

And confused.

And she did not really understand what was going on.

Her eyes nervously danced around hopping that her imagination got the best of her.

But they were still there.

The smiles, the giggling and eyes traveling from her and a certain grinning mohawked boy sitting a bit further away from her.

Rachel glanced towards Puck but her eyes quickly flew back to the front when he noticed her look and grinned even wider.

She chewed her lip nervously not knowing what was actually going on.

Did she do something?

Did she do something that gave her away?

Has someone found her list?

Is it already known that it belongs to her?

Is she the clown again?

A loud snort and stifled laugh from Mercedes brought her out of her thoughts again and she carefully looked around. There was really something strange going on. And it seemed that it was not actually her who her Glee-mates were laughing at.

It was Puck.

The eyes of her friends travelled from her, who looked like she wanted to get the hell out of here and to Puck, who watched her, not once looking away. He had that strange look in his eyes that shined in anticipation and his smile told everyone that he knew something no one else did – and that made him extremely happy.

In his head he went through the words on the list he found and with each thought that went through his head, he was more sure that he was the guy Rachel was writing about. He had green eyes; he – well, he smelled like fresh air; that he had muscles and was in great shape he thanked football and jogging and the fitness-training; he was extremely self-confident and developed a smirk no one had in this school; his voice was great – his fans proved that; and the only person he actually makes fun of and has fun while doing it, is Rachel.

It must be Rachel.

She loves his smile – she made that completely clear.

And she loves him.

She loves him.

She loves him!

Puck was in awe and he could not fall out of his dreamy clouds, which is why he did not notice the amusement that came from his friends while watching him watching her. And he did not notice that uneasy expression on Rachel's face while she feared that her feelings have been exposed.

She was so afraid of being the laughing stock of the school again – that it were her feelings that would be crushed again made everything worse. She felt his eyes on her face and she had a feeling he knew. But she did not want to accept it, which is why she did not look at him at all. Her heart was beating very fast in fear and she already had tears in her eyes, but she controlled herself not to lose it right in the middle of Glee.

She tried to listen to Mr Shue and she sang like he wanted her to, but her mind was under the ground – seriously; she already planned her funeral, because if this situation gets worse she will kill herself!

Seriously! Broadway be dammed! She is living now! And she will not be able to take anything that might be thrown at her by Noah. Or by anyone else from school.

This is getting out of control.

She cannot face the laughing anymore.

Not now not ever.


	5. Sudden err… Alarm

Why and How To Make Him Love Me

* * *

_**Sudden err… Alarm**_

Rachel was still not sure how she did it yesterday. And her friends must definitely think that she is crazy. Not that they did not think it already, but now…

Well it was not such a great deal, but if it was strange for someone it was for her – that she literally ran out of Glee club. Seriously! It was just a few minutes to the end-bell and Rachel was already prepared to make a quick low-start. Her papers were in her bag and her bag was in her arms. She just counted down the seconds while watching the clock and fidgeting in her seat.

Everyone saw it coming – it was just that Rachel did not know that.

No one was able to endure so much pressure of a boy's look. Not even Rachel Berry. Which is why after the bell rang and Rachel ran out like the devil was behind her and Mr Shue was looking after her like she was a ghost that stood up alive and Puck was about to say something to her but was too late - everyone erupted in laughter. Puck finally woke up from his daydreaming and looked around confused, not really knowing why they all cried and roared in laughter, almost falling off their seats.

Of course Rachel did not know about that particular detail in the class; she was too preoccupied to run out of the school. Forget the locker and the books and all the things she had in it – she had to find out how fast and how long her legs will be able to run like that. She passed the other students like the wind, jumped out of the building, flied over the front steps and off she was down the street, not caring that she looked like a marathon runner.

Well.

So it happened.

And today she was kind of afraid to go back to school.

She really hoped that no one actually noticed her fast disappearance.

Yeah… As if.

She really did it now. She can forget about her funeral plan – there is no time for it.

She felt like her legs were made of lead – they felt so heavy and she hardly moved them. But she really did try to walk through the school as fast as possible. The battle was still not at its end. Things have actually just started. She had to keep her strength if she wanted to escape the for-sure-coming mockery.

She was already walking down the hall, trying to not look around like a frightened deer and fidgeted with her fingers.

''Breathe breath brea-''

''Yo Rachel!''

Rachel screamed.

Like a maniac she turned around and came face to face with a smirking Artie who suspiciously seemed as if he desperately tried to not laugh.

''You all right?'' he asked, faking confusion.

Rachel breathed out, composed herself and cleared her throat. ''Yes yes. I'm all right. I'm sorry for my sudden- err- alarm.'' She discreetly looked around, making sure Puck was nowhere in close proximity and calmed down.

She still had some time.

''What can I do for you?'' she asked the boy in front of her and curiously blinked at him. Was he about to laugh her out? No… Not Artie.

''I wanted to ask for your opinion about a music video I made. I can show it to you right now. I have it on my I-Pad.'' He started to rummage through his bag and Rachel worriedly looked around. She wanted to go. She had no time to stay here. Noah could have come and-

''Hey, Berry!'' Santana called and made Rachel jump on the spot. The naming was too similar to Noah's. She watched the Latina making her way towards and- was she trying not to laugh?

''I need your English homework. I forgot to do it.'' Was her simple reply.

Rachel nervously looked from Artie to Santana and around. ''I don't know if that's a good idea Santana. You should do your homework on your own. What if the teacher asks you someth-''

''Yo Rachel!'' called Mercedes from not far behind her and made her turn around. She happily walked towards the group of three and stepped between Artie and Santana, smiling as broadly as possible.

''Hello Mercedes. How are-''

''Hey, I have crazy idea for a mash-up and I need your help with it. I have the songs on my I-Pod and-''

''Back off Africa. I need her homework.'' Santana interrupted, but she did not actually seem angry. More amused than anything else.

''Hey! My music video! I was first to ask Rachel!'' Artie joined in and talked far too loudly than he was known for.

''Hello, my fellow beauties. What's the commotion about?'' Kurt suddenly appeared from somewhere and took Rachel's arm under his. Rachel blinked at him from the side, but he ignored her, watching his friend arguing for Rachel's assistance.

''By the way you look good today, my fellow diva.'' He complimented her and looked her up and down.

''Um… Thank you Kurt. But I really must-'' Rachel tried but was again interrupted by Quinn who all but came dancing around the corner and took her other arm.

''Rachel, I need a favour. You know I want to try out that spin Mr Shue told me to learn for our next dance lesson. You already know how to do it and-''

But Rachel already did not hear her. Her heart and mind were racing when she saw Noah Puckerman walking down the hall in her direction. He was smirking, his hands in his pockets and he seemed far to satisfied with something. He walked slowly and confidently and his eyes were not seeing any other girls that were trying to flirt with – he watched only her.

Rachel was suddenly brought back to earth when she realized this. She blinked a couple of times and concentrated on her friends. They did not seem angry or irritated, although they were arguing very loudly, shouting all over each other. They were more smiling and laughing in Mercedes's case. Their eyes noticed Puck on the other end of the hall and Kurt's and Quinn's grip on her arm became stronger.

They exchanged some strange looks that suspiciously reminded her on-

Were they-

Were they trying to hold her back?

Were they trying to hold her back until Noah came around?

The realization hit her like a car.

Did they all know?

Did they want to laugh at her right in the middle of the hall?

Did they want to throw it in her face?

She suddenly got an enormous power and strength in her arms. She pulled her hands out of the grips and stepped back.

''I- um… I need to-'' she frantically looked around and spotted her most beloved teacher at the moment.

''Mr Shue!'' she screamed and run towards him like the devil was behind her. She clumsily waived her hand at her friends, weakly smiled at Noah and off she was, startling Mr Shuester by throwing at him thousand and one question, quickly leading him away.

''Shit.'' Cursed Santana when Rachel disappeared.

''She figured it out.'' Commented Artie and sighed.

''Sorry man. We failed.'' Mercedes told Puck when he finally reached the group, annoyed that Rachel got away again.

''Nah… I should have walked faster.'' He said and like the drama queen he was, sighed.

''I really don't understand why she keeps running away from you, Puck.'' Quinn told him and smiled at Rachel's frightful behaviour.

''Yeah, she's all strange these days. We all know you fancy her and that she most probably fancies you, so I don't get what her problem is.'' Said Santana and frowned a little.

''But caving her in between us…'' laughed Kurt again.

''Fucking funny thing.'' Concluded Santana and made them all laugh.

But Puck was too occupied with the next plan he would try out in order to make her stand in front of him.

It's time for plan B.

* * *

Rachel did not feel good. Actually she felt like she was about to throw up.

The whole day she had a feeling that all eyes were on her and that every laugh was directed at her. Of course it was just her imagination that got the best of her, but she really could not help herself. Too often did it already happen that everything she did blew up in her face.

However, something was not a part of her imagination. She knew it. She had some nasty experience with this. Jacob Ben Israel often did it and she always knew when he was doing it. This is why she knew that something was off again. But it was not Jacob's fault this time. She saw him with a teacher before.

But then again…

Who was stalking her?

There was someone always somewhere behind her, but whenever she turned around, no one suspicious was there. There was a moment she thought that a hand was about to touch her shoulder, but when she put her own hand over her shoulder and turned her head around – there was nothing.

But the feeling remained.

And it got even worse during the last break.

Her eyes were nervously dancing around and her breathing was erratic as she tried to get to her locker as fast as she could. A few minutes before the break would end, Rachel forgot that there were some books she had to take with her to class, because she promised her teacher to show them those books.

She hurriedly walked towards her locker and made sure that there was no one following her. The hall was already empty because everyone went to class before the teacher would come – so she was completely alone.

Rachel opened her locker, gathered her books and was about to walk away with a sigh.

There was no one there.

Or so she thought.

''Hey Berry.''

Rachel's books fell like rocks to the floor, when she jumped as she heard his voice. She panicaly tried to gather her things but she was so nervous that they all went everywhere but into her hands.

''He-hello Noah...'' she said without looking at him.

''I think that you're really trying to slay me.'' She mumbled her usual response. Puck smirked and helped her to gather her things. As she had them all in her arms, she thanked him, still looking at everywhere but him and tried to run past him. But the boy stopped her by grabbing her hand – and her books fell down again.

She looked at him straight in the eyes now.

She was suddenly so scared to face him. If he really did know about the list, anything is possible. He could prank her; he could just laugh and make everyone in school to bully her; or of course the complete opposite could happen – like, telling her he felt the same, or agreeing to at least try going out with her.

But that…

That's…

Impossible.

He was just… He was a too big catch for her.

She cannot have him – most probably not even reach him with her words.

If the list is the reason that he is currently holding her hand, she can start with the plan suicide.

Puck was taken aback, as he saw how vulnerable she seemed; she had that look – uncertain and scared to be hurt. She tried to hide it but she was too caught in the moment.

''What is it Noah?'' she asked in whisper and again looked away. Noah tried to catch her eyes, but she did not let him.

''Rachel. Look at me.'' He kind of ordered, wanting to have her attention. Rachel just glanced at him, but looked around again. She was afraid to look at him. He stepped closer to her, making her stumble back and gently pressed her back to the lockers.

''What is it? Do you need something? Did I do something?'' she asked a bit louder now.

And finally, because he did not answer, she looked at him. Her breath hitched when she saw him looking at her, as if she was the most special thing in this world.

He was holding her hand firmly and did not let her run away again. He wanted to make sure. He wanted to know if it was true.

With the other hand, he brushed a curl of her hair behind her ear and she tensed for a second by his touch. He noticed that and smiled. He could see, hear and feel her nervous heart beating, her fast breathing and the goose bumps on her skin.

He was sure he was the cause of it.

''N-Noah...'' she whispered again, lost in his eyes.

He started to lean in and both of them knew, what was coming.

But the bell rang.

They both jumped apart.

Rachel composed herself and gathered her things hastily. As fast as she could, she said bye and run away to class... again.


	6. Burst Out

**Hello! This story is my first finished Glee story on FF and I'm happy that so many people liked it. From this point on I leave it to the readers to come up with a sequel or an idea how the story should have ended.**

**Enjoy the ending :D**

* * *

Why And How to Make Him Love Me

* * *

_**Burst Out**_

Rachel was thinking.

Well, she is doing that her whole life actually – so let's just say that she was deep in thoughts, not even noticing the wall she was about to collide into.

''Uff…'' she gasped as she kissed the cold wall and tried to not lose balance. She quickly pushed herself off and looked around if anyone saw.

Of course no one did.

It was so early in the morning that there was no person there. The school was completely empty.

''Good.'' She mumbled satisfied and started walking again.

So…

She was deep in thoughts again. Trying to understand what happened yesterday. Like the whole week she avoided Noah as the plague, but it seemed he started chasing after her – or something. Did she imagine the point when her Glee-mates tried to hold her back for him?

Could be.

Did she imagine the moment in which the boy of her dreams pushed her against the locker and was about to kiss her?

No.

That really did happen.

It made her happy and for a moment she let herself smile like a goofy child – but then she remembered that everything could be all about the list she lost and that all this could be just a game.

They would not do that to her, would they?

They were her friends.

Rachel sat down on the floor with a sigh and leaned with her back at the row of lockers. She pulled her legs up, bended her knees and leaned her head on them.

She was such a mess.

It was the last day of the week and she felt like years went by since she lost that dumpy-ass list. Why in the world did she make it, she had no idea. All it brought her was worry and fear for her dear last months in high-school.

It was stupid and she all but wanted to disappear.

She sighed again and rummaged through her bag. She pulled her I-Pod out and put her favourite music on, just to make herself feel better.

Of course it did not work.

Like the drama queen she was, she felt like the end of the world was approaching her and she had a hard time to accept her destiny as a humiliated freak.

She lost herself in her pathetic sorrow and self-pity for so long that she did not notice some students walk past her, giving her strange looks for sitting there like a heap of misfortune.

It was not until a well-known voice brought her back to the earth.

''Berry? For fucks sake, what are you doing?''

Rachel looked up and came face to face with an annoyed Santana Lopez. She quickly pulled away her I-Pod, pushed it into her bag and got up as fast as she could.

''Oh, um…'' she looked around confused. Did she sit around for so long?

''Good morning, Santana. How are you.'' Like the polite girl she was, she ignored her rude question and smiled at the taller girl.

Santana just rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue: ''Yeah yeah, good, whatever. So what's the deal with you, hobbit.''

Rachel looked at her in confusion: ''What do you mean?''

''I mean what do you and that mother-fucking-asshole have that made him stop coming around for like two months now?''

''I don't understand.''

''Don't joke, midget. That blockhead hasn't got any since, I don't know, spring, and now you two are like wolf and the red riding hood.''

''Um…''

''Oh, hey you two!'' Quinn called when she entered the school and walked towards the dark-haired girls.

''Morning Quinn.'' Said Rachel and blinked in confusion. Why in the world are those two talking to her like they were – I don't know – best friends forever?

''Yo, Blondy.'' Was Santana's only reply.

When Quinn stopped next to them she noticed the strange atmosphere between them and looked at both of them in confusion. ''What's up?''

Santana shrugged: ''I'm just asking the diva here what's up with her and that mohawk-jerk. The asshole got quite perky and is ditching his crew the whole time. And now this week…'' she pointedly looked at Rachel and glanced at Quinn, smirking lightly and fidgeting in anticipation. The cheerios were about to get through.

Quinn quickly realized what Santana was doing and composed herself: ''That's true…'' she told them, faking the absent-minded expression on her face.

''He really did become strange. Not particularly this week – but it was strange though; looking for you the whole time and ditching classes to wait at the corner for you-'' at that, Rachel's eyes widened and started to shine like stars.

''-but it's been months since he got some action, isn't it?'' Quinn looked at Santana in question and the other girl just nodded.

''He also became very rude; I mean, girls love him and he flirts with them, but then he just walks away, not even asking for a name or something.'' Quinn continued, making Rachel gasp.

''And he's such a wanabe! I mean shit – he could just say that he's off the market or something and not ignoring all the offers.'' Santana continued and glanced somewhere over Rachel's shoulder. She smirked.

''What's going on with the two of you?'' she finally asked Rachel directly and made her flinch.

''What are you talking about?'' Rachel looked around, trying to get herself out of here. There were more and more students in the hall and she had a hard time to even see anything because she was so short.

''I'm asking why that freak of a mohawk is such a pussy these days? Is he on drugs or something?'' And that finally got Rachel annoyed.

''Of course that is not true! Noah Puckermann might be a very rude and self-cantered boy sometimes, but as far as I know him, he is very nice and gentle; if you only give him a chance to be. And frankly, I happen to like this side of him.'' Rachel explained fast and was not aware of the looks of the two girls, which went from her to someone behind her.

It was not before he stood an inch behind her that she felt his presence and froze on the spot.

''Was that a confession?'' he asked surprised, while looking down on her from the side.

Rachel panicked, as her heart stopped beating for a moment. He was too close. Way too close. And she had huge problems with breathing. She took hold of herself, stepped away, saying loudly: ''I have no idea what you are talking about!'' before making few steps away. She did not come far because a strong hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

Puck saw her shocked expression, but did not wait for anything else. He pulled her with him, pushed some students away and stalked into a classroom.

''Out!'' he called and glared at the few teenagers that were already sitting behind their desks.

Just one look at him and the shrieking girl behind him made them jump out of the classroom. Puck pushed Rachel in and closed the door behind them.

''N-noah?'' Rachel brought out of herself, shocked and confused. The boy finally let her go and went sitting on one of the tables. His legs were each on one chair and he leaned with his elbow on his knees, his chin on his fisted hands. He looked at her somehow in between glaring and studying.

Rachel did not know what to do, so she turned to the door and tried to open it. But as soon she reached for the handle and tried to open the door, she noticed that that was not possible.

''What the-''

''Stay in there Berry!'' called Santana's voice from the other side and Rachel furiously played with the handle.

''What is going on? Let me out!'' she screamed and banged on the door. She could hear many voices on the other side and when she finally looked through the door window, she gasped – the students which Puck threw out of the class were all standing in front of the door and listening. And if that was not enough, Rachel also noticed at least hundred other students who watched what was going on. All in all, the crowd in front of the door was getting bigger and bigger, and Rachel gave up the thought of escaping at all.

''You two start making out, because the fucking ST is gonna kill us all, Berry!'' exclaimed Santana from the other side and kicked the door for emphasis.

''What ST are you talki-''

''Sexual tension…'' Puck mumbled from behind her, but Rachel did not turn around.

''Rachel.'' Interrupted Quinn and tried to calm her down. ''It's gonna be ok. You two just- just talk. We'll let you out after that.'' She explained, but that did not calm Rachel down. If what, it made her even more nervous.

Rachel stiffened and gulped down her tears. She did not want to talk to him. She did not want to talk to him at all. She just wanted to run away, hide in her room and forget about him and everyone involved.

She took deep breaths and put her hand over her front head. Cursing under her breath she leaned her head on the door and was drowning herself in self-pity. In her mind she screamed for him to just disappear; that this would be a nightmare and that she would wake up any minute. She hoped he would just walk away.

But he had other plans of course. He came to stand behind her and cornered her to the door. She quickly turned around and squeaked as she noticed how near he was. The noise outside the class was soon forgotten and the only thing Rachel was able to hear right now was his fast breathing.

His face was very close and his green eyes watched her, trying to figure out why she looked like she was about to cry any second now.

He put a hand next her head and the other to gently brush her cheek. She breathed very fast and loud and her heart almost jumped out of her chest. She was not able to say anything and that gave him the chance to talk.

''Rachel, why are you avoiding me?'' he asked and she just nervously and with big eyes shook her head in a ''No, I'm not''.

He smiled and took a deep breath. She smelled so good.

He pulled out the list from his back jeans pocket and pinned it with his hand next to her head to the door. Rachel's eyes grew big when she looked at the paper from the side. Her breath itched and she gulped hard. Her eyes were already wet and ready to let out all the tears in the world.

Her body was so tense and she was so afraid of what might happen next that she could not hear or see anything beside him.

''I found this a few days ago. I think it belongs to you.'' The boy told her gently, watching her blush and shake in anticipation.

She furiously shook her head in ''No, it doesn't.'', but he did not believe her.

''It's your handwriting.''

She finally found her voice, but it was soft like she was afraid if she spoke louder, she might cry: ''It could be anyone's. I'm not the only one writing like this.''

He caressed her cheek again and Rachel honestly did not know what was going on.

''No, it's only you who would have made a list with coloured words, big letters, and underlined topics; and actually - only you would have made such a list.'' He grinned and watched her.

''You can't know that.'' She told him angrily. Who was he to know anything about her? He did not even notice her before the list.

''But I know it was you. I saw it fall from your hands. The only question is, who is it about? Is it me?'' he asked her cheekily and she could only blink her tears away. This was just too embarrassing. She should have never written that list. She should have never tried to get Noah Puckerman to like her. It only leads to humiliation and losing one's pride.

That was it…

This was her end.

He horrible high school days will be even uglier from this point on.

She wants to die…

Emo…

He already knew the answer. She was just to obvious. He leaned forward, gently brushing their lips and whispering: ''I like you.'' And then he kissed her.

Loud cheering could be heard from the other side of the door – some of the students actually looked from time to time through the door window and finally saw them kissing. They did not actually know what they were talking about but the view was perfect.

Puck gently nipped at Rachel's lip and made her gasp, letting his tongue in – he found hers and made her kiss him back. With his free hand he went through her hair and pulled her head closer, not letting her back off. The list soon fell from his other hand to the floor.

Rachel moaned softly and slowly slid with her hands up his chest where she grabbed his shirt and roughly pushed him away.

''No no no. Don't play with me!'' she screamed and held her hands in front of her face, trying to hide her blushed cheeks and glassy eyes. Puck tottered back, catching his balance in the last second and looked at her in confusion. He watched her move away to make as much space between them as possible.

He watched her sniff and turn away and that finally made him angry.

''I'm not playing you, dammit! I'm fucking serious!'' he followed her, grabbed her arm and made her turn around again.

''How can someone like you like someone like me?'' she explained in defeat, still holding the back side of her other hand in front of her nose and lips, trying to hide her expression.

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''You-'' she averted her eyes, but gathered her courage again and glared at him.

''You're-'' she looked him up and down; from his green eyes, down to his muscled body and up again. ''…Perfection…and I'm…''

''The fuck you are! You're the star here not me!'' He stepped closer only to make her step back.

''Rachel, I'm not just crushing on you and I don't just like you. I'm fucking deep down in hell in love with you!''

''You are?''

''Of course for Christ's sake! Why don't you believe me!''

''Well, judging your past actions and the amount of girls always around you…''

''Gaahh! You're making me pull out my hair, woman!''

''You don't have hair!''

''Exactly! That's says something!''

There was silence. Eyes glancing at each other. And fingers itching to touch.

''You're serious?''

''Yes, Jahwe!'' he called and threw his arms up in the air in frustration.

''I fell for you! I like you! I'm in love with you for fucking hell! Would you finally say 'me too' and become my girlfriend!''

Rachel's face was as bright as the sun and a smile slowly made its way over her face. Puck slapped his hand over his face in embarrassment and joy for being able to look at such a beautiful girl.

''Ugh… You actually made me say everything! Fuck…'' He pulled at her hand and she finally let him.

''You cheeky little-'' was the only thing he brought out, after he grinned at her. Rachel pulled him down and kissed his open mouth with such venom that he had to try very hard not to moan like a girl.

Finally she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him closer and stood on her toes to be taller. He hugged her with one hand around her back and with the other he held her cheek and caressed her skin as gently as possible. His raged hormones screamed at him to just grab her and take her, but he knew that Rachel is a girl he respects more than anything else.

He would not destroy what he got a minute ago just for trying something she would not necessarily like.

Maybe after few months…

She moaned softly and made that crazy thing with her tongue that made him moan back.

Or in a couple of days – would it be bad if he tried it then?

She gasped when his hand came dangerously near the side of her chest, but she did not pull away. He did not go further – she trusted him he would wait.

Maybe a couple of hours?

''They're making out, aren't they?''

''Open the fucking door! I have to save Berry from that beast!''

''They're together!''

Loud screams and whistles came from the other side of the door and many steps of moving away and trying to open the door could be heard – Rachel and Puck quickly turned their heads to the door and watched the circus in the hall through the door window.

''Let me through! I need pictures for my blog!'' screamed Jacob and that was what made the two teens move.

''They're trying to get us.'' Commented Puck and looked at Rachel. She on the other hand was grinning from ear to ear and had her cheeks as red as tomatoes.

Puck smiled at her and kissed her one more time before they both ran to the window.

''You think this is safe?'' she asked while he opened the window and sat on its edge.

''Pff… Trust me. It's not the first time I jumped out. The ground is just a meter below.'' He jumped out and landed on his feet, waiting for the girl to do the same.

''They're trying to escape!'' came from the almost open door and Rachel quickly sat on the edge and jumped into Puck arms. He caught her by her waist and made her chest slide over his before her feet gently touched the ground.

They laughed when the door burst open and the students ran towards the window, making pictures of them running away to the parking lot.

''Will it be a problem if you skipped a day?'' Puck asked her before they climbed into his truck.

Rachel looked at him, her eyes shining and her lips in a huge smile. ''Nah… It's my first time skipping. I think there's no problem.

And off they were, leaving behind a screaming and whistling horde of teenagers, trying to get as many pictures as possible.

Jacob even ran after them.

HIs blog was full of details and pictures of the pair in the evening, describing exactly what has happened that day. Of course the rumoured list that Rachel made has never been found – no one actually thought about looking at the classroom's floor where it lied until the mass of people ran over it and destroyed it.

The story how the two came together was written in Rachel's biography ten years later – the author the one and only Jacob Ben Israel. He included some of the most beautiful pictures of the rock star Noah Puckerman and the famous Broadway star Rachel Berry in their romantic moments. No one knew how many picture of them he actually made and no one actually knew how he made them.

Rachel and Puck knew they had to stay on his good side if they wanted to prevent him from posting any other pictures that might reveal a bit too much for the public taste. What Jacob was doing was not actually legal – but he did a god job at making them famous…

At least they could give him the opportunity to become one of the most popular paparazzi in the world.

Advice?

Beware of Jacob.


End file.
